About Counseling

“You Stupid Bitch”

Have you ever seen that Netflix show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?

It’s an awesome, musical romantic-comedy-dramedy, but it’s also partly about mental health.

Rebecca Bunch, the main character, suffers from anxiety, depression, and crippling self-criticism.

After a terribly failed attempt at getting the object of her affection to fall in love with her, she floats off into her head to sing a song about her troubles.

A Mental Serenade

In a glittering gown, she steps on stage as an announcer acknowledges her presence: “Rebecca Bunch, here to sing a song about self-indulgence and self-loathing.”

Thanking her adoring audience for being there, Rebecca says, “It’s good to be back here, even though I’m here, singing this song… a lot.” (Apparently, this song is not new to her.)

The trill of the piano begins, and she sings, sarcastically addressing herself,

“Well, Rebecca… you’ve done it now…” The audience goes wild! She obliges them, replying, “Yeah, you know this one…” (Apparently, her audience knows it well, too.)

A Chorus of Recrimination

After the first verse chronicles the supposedly terrible things she’s done, she majestically crescendos to the chorus, accusing herself:

“You’ve ruined everything, you stupid bitch.
You ruined everything, you stupid, stupid bitch.
You’re just a lying little bitch who ruins things and wants the world to burn. Bitch.
You stupid bitch… and lose some weight.”

Umm… whaaaat?!

WOW. It’s shocking, but SO relatable.

It’s shocking to hear someone talking so straightforwardly about herself like that.

But also… So. Dang. Relatable.

I was… stunned, delighted, and on the verge of tears when I heard it.

It felt so mean – but also like being so seen – and so heard.

Because it’s often so true.

That’s the way we often really speak to ourselves. And that’s what we hear about ourselves in our head!

Though it’s so intensely and obviously cruel to speak to oneself that way, it’s also so clearly what we actually experience.

The lyrics may candidly illustrate your daily internal conversation.

Nitpicking. Criticizing. Chastising. Insulting you. Telling you how you “should” be and what you “should” do. Telling you what’s wrong with you.

And you feel SO BAD because of it.

But you take for granted that this is how it is, until – something happens, and you simply can’t take it anymore.

Somehow, at some point, it becomes truly unbearable, and you know you can’t keep doing this.

In your mind, it’s clear – you have to do something different. But you don’t know what – or HOW.

Courageously, you guess and hope you DESERVE something more, something different.

You’re that person.

You’ve found the determination to give yourself something different.

You’re ready to free yourself from the endless conversation about yourself and what you’re doing wrong, and, instead, step fully into loving yourself and living your life.

With peace, confidence, and love.

You’re it. And it’s so beautiful!

Spoiler Alert

Rebecca Bunch learned to do something different, and so can you.

Your inner critic has a powerful voice. It’s begun to make you HATE yourself.

Believe me. I’ve been there. I get it. But hating yourself isn’t natural – you had to be taught to do that, and it happens when that inner critic lodges firmly inside your head.

It’s not your fault. You’ve never learned HOW to do something different or how to reject this criticism.

And it seems so real. But it doesn’t have to be permanent.

Criticism has only the power you’ve given it – of your belief, your attention, your repetition – because you didn’t know better.

But you can learn to remove them; stop believing what you hear, think, and sometimes even feel about yourself; and learn to see clearly – the criticism is lying.

You can move your attention to something you choose that inspires and excites you – like love, connection, and your own extraordinary adequacy and competence.

But how?

You start by noticing the pattern and becoming aware of why it’s there and how it operates – and stop it by disbelieving it, fully disengaging from it, and doing something else.

Doing this, you shift from criticism, hate, and isolation to love, joy, peace, connection.

I’m so sorry no one’s ever told you it’s that simple.

It should be taught in schools. But it isn’t.

That’s why I’m here.

“Why do you care?”

You may be wondering, “Why do you care so much about this? You’re awfully specific about this voice in my head, this conversation I’m constantly having.”

Good question. Yes, I am!

Because I’ve been through this, too, I know what’s happening. It’s awful. And it sucks!

I’ve had to learn how to do what I spend my life helping other people learn to do.

No one should have to live like this. That’s why I care!

And I can help!

I’ve got some expertise.

And though I may not have all the answers, my clinical training and personal experience have helped me develop some interesting strategies and changes in personal perception.

I look forward to sharing them with you.

Unconditional love.

One of the most powerful tools I have is knowing how to access and live in unconditional love for myself. Unconditional love – isn’t that what most of us are really looking for?

It’s the ultimate healer in ourselves and our connections with others.

And the good news is – you can learn it.

But you don’t have to do it alone!

You can’t do this alone. It’s too hard.

You’re meant to have help and support. That’s why I’m here.

Our relationship will help heal the negative things you’ve learned to think, feel, and believe about yourself.

It will help heal those original criticisms and negative messages you got when you were a little kid and didn’t know any better.

Find out what’s it like to be with someone who doesn’t believe a single bad thing about you, doesn’t think you need to do anything differently, and believes you’re OK and perfect – just the way you are.

And get results.

I use evidence-based practice to track your progress and results in counseling.

100% of the people who work with me feel better and experience significant improvements.

You will get better and feel better working with me.

Be yourself with me!

You can be both perfect the way you are AND still want change. It’s possible.

That’s part of the magic of counseling.

I’ll share some of my training and credentials, but I believe the most important thing I can offer you is who I am and how I work with you in counseling.

I earned a B.A. in Musical Theater from the University of Northern Colorado but got my M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Bushnell University. I’ve also completed basic training in Somatic and Attachment-Focused Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (SAFE EMDR).

My experience in mental health totals 15 years – 8 in mental health before becoming a counselor. And I just wrote a book to help with anxiety!

When I’m not in the office…

I love food. Who doesn’t?! I really need a walk everyday, because I’ve got lots of energy.

The outdoors are a must, there’s way too many unfinished books on my bedside, and love my sleep.

I laugh a lot and loudly – sometimes, in session.

You are ready!

To stop that internal conversation with yourself that labels you “A Stupid Bitch,” or anything else unkind.

Don’t put up with this any longer. Please give me a call at 541-600-4458 today – let’s get started.